Why is Mario's hat red? Because they programmed it that way...

Eight years old.

Remember when you could make up the biggest, most epic and grand story whenever asked about the history of your toys?

I do. My niece and nephew, however, do not.

I recently visited my niece and nephew a week or so ago and interrupted their game of Super Smash Brothers



Seeing my chance to feel intellectually superior, I opted to strike up a conversation with them in hopes of hear a silly story which would reassure of me my progress through life. I started by asking them who was winning, then got into more detail about which character was stronger and why. The subject finally brought me to asking the history of the characters. My question was

"Where did Mario come from? Does he have a mom? How come she's never around? Who pays there bills? He can't honestly make a living finding money in random blocks of brick around the street can he? Doesn't he have a job? He'll never get one if he keeps chasing girls all the time. Why does he always wear a red hat, even when he's underwater?"

I expected an answer similar to one I got earlier that year when asking my niece why her barbie (i assume that was her name) need 7 pairs of shoes. She responded telling me a long winded story of how and why 2 were for ball room dancing, 4 were for her yoga classes and the last was a gift that she planned to trade in because it didn't look very nice.

This time however, I just got a

"He just does"

in response to my last question.

"Why doesn't he try a blue hat?"

"because he wears a red one!"

At that point they become grumpy so I didn't pursue the matter. It did, however, leave me questioning the nature of technology and it's relation to creativity. Those kids didn't feel the need to make up stories to explain characters, they just took them as absolute truths...

...and we wonder why youths are so screwed up...

"because he wears a red one!"